Of Genghis Khan, Dog Bacon and Baby Wipes

Hell is a very descriptive word and we all have a personal idea of how it would be like. Dante depicted hell as nine circles of suffering. He was wrong. It is three straight lines on a bicycle through the Gobi Desert.

Since the last rest day we have been traveling 158km, 144km and 153km against the wind. That was a charming movie with Scarlett O'Hara which ended up in tears and so did I.

The first day was an extremely long and some riders got in at 20.00. At the camp site tents were blown away and torn. Some tents took three persons to hold down and erect. Sand came in everywhere. Thank god for my Hilleberg. The only sand that came in travelled in by my  bodily orifices and my hair. I used up one pack of baby wipes to de-sand my body. Our chef made a nice meal with nothing resembling Mongolian food which was lovely. But he did warn us that our staple diet for a while would be horse and lamb.

The next morning we started off at the crack of dawn and it was bitterly cold. The head blew from the start and caused many hours of fighting on the bicycle and some more tears. 

First there was nothing, then more nothing and then a camel.

After about ten hours the van came by with extra water and we were told the ride was shortened by  seven km. This was the best news since word got through that Columbus discovered America. 

We camped at a Karaoke Bar where we could buy beers and vodka and put up our tents in the backyard. But there is always a snake in paradise. Here it was two big dogs who barked the entire night. They almost ended up as bacon on the breakfast table. Some people could sleep inside the bar in the attic.  I was lucky to find a pitch black and quiet storeroom where I could spend a so unless night. Alas there was no oxygen in the room so I woke up with a blinding headache.

When everything else fails there is Mongolian Vodka

The next day started off very well with us meandering through majestic meadows with cattle grazing in the distance. Remember it rained the other day so they had their four yearly meal of green grass. Up until lunch it was wind still and gave one of the best rides of this trip. But at kilometer 88 it was like hitting the proverbial wall. The wind came from nowhere and that was the end of looking at cattle. Now we had to concentrate not to be blown off the road.

About 30km from Ulan Bator the city skyline beckoned in the distance. The road got very busy and we were threatened by trucks and busses on a very narrow road with some near death experiences. It took us another three hours to fight our way in to the city.

The hotel is wonderful and could be the Waldorf Astoria of Mongolia. Big rooms and a hairdryer.

Genghis Khan rides again but not on a bicycle

Of Rattle Snakes, Wall to Wall Carpets and Dead Cows

We have done six riding days since the last rest day. All these days had their own shades of hell. This is except for a 158km day where there was a marvelous tailwind. The gods of the winds then got into a bad mood and it changed to not so marvelous head winds.

The last province of China is called Inner Mongolia. There we rode for two days before a border crossing into the real Mongolia.

We meandered through even more non discript Chinese towns where the population got less and less.These towns had names like Zhangbei, Xianghaungvi, Sonid Youqi, Erlianhaote and Ulaan-Uul. Not recommended to go there for your honeymoon.

In China the nights were still spent in hotels.Various grades of sleaziness, but all with at least one star. Hopefully the star was not given for the wall to wall carpets where one could contract any registered or non registered disease known to mankind. These carpets are also used as ashtrays. An old Chinese custom.

The landscape turned more and more desolate and the traffic got less. We are now in the Gobi desert. The one I saw from the aeroplane window. In hindsight it seems to be the more favorable way to experience a desert.

This cow didn't wait for the rain.

One day just before lunch when I was half asleep from exhaustion I rode over a rattlesnake. He was relaxing on the tarmac when the rider in front flattened him with two Shwalbe Marathon plus tires. Milliseconds later my one tires went over him. By now he was a bit irritated coiled himself and attacked the bottom of my sandal. Luckily he missed. 

The border crossing went smoothly but took half a day. This was in a town where the Trans Siberian Railway crosses so they have a Taxfree shop with recognizable chocolate from Denmark and recognizable vodka from Sweden.

Once in Mongolia we experienced our first camping night in the Gobi Desert. It has of course not rained for many years in the desert but it did of course rain on our camping night and for most of the next morning. This was greatly enjoyed by the camels and sheep but not by myself and my fellow campers. 

The riding day into the rest day had to be shortened because of various degrees  of hypothermia experienced by most riders.This was caused by zero temperatures high winds and rain. The Canadians dealt better with this than the two South Africans brought up in Semi Tropical conditions. By the time we got to lunch I could not feel my hands and feet anymore and therefore had to pedal with my knees and change gears and brake with my elbows. 

Two South Africans and one American warming up from hypothetmia.

But now it's a well deserved rest day in a very nice hotel in Sajnsand without wall to wall carpets and a bar where they serve Gin and Tonic with real lemon. I had one just in case of Malaria.

Typical rest day scene.

Of Charles de Gaulle, Ante Chambers of Hell and Dancing Chickens

Charles de Gaulle said "China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese.

He was right but he forgot to say that every Chinese has a car and a hooter.

Cycling in the traffic is no fun but it feels quite save here because the drivers anticipate obstacles like cyclist, mopeds, slow moving tractors, pedestrians and chickens on the road. Not like in Sweden where one only meet Volvos and the occasional moose.

The first day was a 7km convoy out of Peking and then 77km to a non descriptive Chinese town called Yanquing. A name to remember because it sounds like a self fulfilling activity that can cause blindness. 

Next day was a grueling 128km through some farm lands and then an area of industry and coal mines. Trucks, dirt, potholes, pollution and rubbish burnt on the side of the road. The ante chambers of hell.

Today we are enjoying a rest day in another non descriptive Chinese city called Zhangjiakou. Our hotel is in the middle of the lively red light district.

Most hotels in China have apart from toilet paper, soap and shower caps also a collection of condoms and prostitutes business cards. The telephone usually rings  in the middle of the night with a husky voice offering a massage. Best thing is to unplug the phone and not to touch anything but yourself.

Rest days usually consist of bike cleaning, buying more stuff to put in an already stuffed bag and eating as much as you can.

We went for a two hour massage at a health club of which I strongly suspect to be a high class brothel. The clue is girls in short skirts and heels. The massage was the best I ever had. 

We asked for a foot massage but got a wholebody workout, pajamas, snacks, lunch, foot bath and drinks. A happy ending to a rest day.

Me and Catherine in a non descriptive city

Dancing chickens

Massage girls

Of Silk, Sand and Vodka

This blog is about a trip 13 204 km from Peking to Istanbul. The so called Silk Route. I will do it on a bicycle and not a camel. The journey goes  through ten countries. It is impossible to spell their names. Kyrgyzstan is easy but try China, Mongolia, Russia, Kazakhstan,Tajikistan, Uzbekistan, Iran and Turkey.

I will try to write about unusual and hopefully exciting things that come my way. No pun intended. Stuff that's available on Wikipedia will be avoided.

Not much has happened yet except that I have managed to get myself, two bags and one bicycle to Peking without losing anything. The airline was Finnair with a brand new Airbus 350 of which the entertainment system didn't work. Luckily the engines did. The plane was half empty which is not good when talking about a glass of wine but very good on intercontinental flights.

During the flight I could see the dawn breaking over the the Gobi Desert 10 000m below. It looked magnificent over the rim of my plastic coffee cup. Couldn't help thinking that soon it will be a much closer encounter. Sand everywhere. In my sleeping bag, between my teeth and in all the places where the sun doesn't shine.

Haven't seen much silk yet except for the lingerie I bought at Victoria Secret at the Gothenburg airport.

Encountered lots of tea but sadly no Vodka yet. Will probably have to wait for Kyrgyzstan or at least Siberia.

At the moment I'm licking my wounds at the Holiday Inn in Peking behind closed doors waiting for all hell to break lose on Sunday when we convoy out of the city.

Crazy thing about jet lag is that you meet your midnight demons in broad daylight. Better teach them to dance.

Silk

Sand

Vodka (Photo: Andreas Pakenham)